Dear Poppop,
I didn't know that I had spent my last Thanksgiving with you. I didn't know I had spent my last Christmas with you, I didn't know I had recieved my last birthday card that read "Love Gama & Poppop". I didn't know that last August was the last time I would see you. I didn't know that goodbye, was our last. I didn't know that was the last time you'd say "drive safe" as you handed us hand written turn by turn directions (even though we had a gps). I didn't know that would be our last hug.
A few years ago we were at Bob Evans for our traditional day-after-Christmas breakfast, my mother had asked me if I had any cash for the tip, I told her that I had given my last few dollars at church. You looked at me and asked me to repeat what I said, and I again said "I gave my last few dollars at church" and you replied "Good for you." And I could tell by the smile on your face and the look in your eye how proud of me in that moment. Something I hadn't given much thought, has made such an impact on my life. I had given to church because, it I thought it was just what you're supposed to do at church, but you made me realize that it's more than that it's about doing something good, for someone else. And I can only hope that I can make you looking down on me as proud of me again as you were in that moment.
I'm not sure how calmly and organized you could deal with all of us grandkids, but my gosh did you do a great job. You never forgot a birthday, a graduation, or even a dance recital, and you always knew what each of us was were doing in school and outside of school. (Sometimes I wouldn't even know what I was doing) but you've always had faith in us. And I know you will always have faith in us even though can no longer tell us.
You took such amazing care of my grandmother. Whatever she needed, you provided. Where ever she needed to go, you took her. Whatever she wanted, you gave her. From helping her stretch her neck twice a day, to cutting her rice cakes and making sure you never ate out somewhere without a gluten free menu. You even labeled the two sides of the toaster "Gluten Free" "Regular" and reminded us every time we came over to make sure we used the correct side. You loved and cared for her in a way that I never knew someone could be loved and cared for. I could only pray that I find someone to treat me the way you treated her.
Going to Gama and Poppops used to mean I was going to eat Rice Chrispies for every meal to avoid eating whatever food I then thought I wouldn't like. Grapefruit for breakfast? Yuck. Until a few years ago when that all changed. From then on going to Gama and Poppops meant I was going to be eating the best tasted and healthiest foods you could find. (Including my favorite peaches from Scholls!)
I do know that you inspired me in a more ways then I shared. I do know that you will still be with me this difficult Christmas. I do know that you are watching over the family and I. I do know that you had such a huge impact on the girl that is standing here today. I do know, that I miss you. And I do know that that last hug, was the tightest. And I know, you are still giving me that hug.
Love,
Your granddaughter
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